Nudge me or send me a msg for the code :P

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Oh and btw my love story was posted up by demand okay? Not my vanity or whatever shit la. ANYWAYS IT'S GONE TO MY DRAFT LIST NOW HAHAHA. Why would I wanna post about something unofficial right? I mean, how sure are you that I am gonna marry him? Plus, if he happens to like play me out and dump me like what the others wanted to do and some did, wouldn't it make me like a joker of the year or something? Major embarassment, yes? So that's what I'm tryna say here. This is purely unofficial, I'd say. It's possible for him to dump me anytime. But nonetheless, I'm staying true to him, no doubt. I'll try to be the best girlfriend ever. Someone that he deserves la. So yeah. C'mon, get your facts right people. I pretty much risked everything and posted that previous post okay? With much courage, I'd say. So yeah. Let's just all hope and pray for the best yeah? But if it doesn't happen, or if it isn't fate, then I'mma just accept the fact and move on. Trust me, I am way stronger than anything now. Nothing, and I say NOTHING can ever break me. Oh &&& thank you everyone (you know who you are) for always being there for me and stuff. Seriously appreciate it tons :D

You taught me how to love, but not how to stop.

Last night I wished at 11.11. I hope it comes true. Teehee (: Was supposed to blog last night, but dad was already nagging at me to go to bed. So yeah. Emergency shut down, and off I went to bed. Anyways, here's the thing. I promised Thamilla that I'll blog (no, more like trash) boys in the next post that I'mma blog. So here it goes. Oh, and the reason for this? She recently dumped her pilot boyfriend, only because he wasn't treating her well. 2 holy weeks back from Australia, and all he's been doing is to like to go clubbing with his friends. Like what the fcuk much? Totally unfair, yes? So yeah. I've been sobbing around with her, while Suba is probably busy celebrating her boyfriend's birthday today. Grrr. This sucks.

I've been telling my friends about how I feel and stuff. I just happened to wonder, why do boys love making drastic decisions? So not fun. Pfft. Anyhow, look, I've got some really nice feedback from my friends after my story-telling session. For example :

1) Videsh said I sound like I'm wearing a mask when I was talking to him. Meaning, I sound so calm and assure him that everything's alright, but the truth is that I am slowly crippling within myself. The only sole reason on why I did that is because I didn't want him to feel bad and stuff. Plus, we were having Physics like the next day. So yeah.

2) Andrew kept repeating that I'm pretty and that I shouldn't worry about being single, because there definitely will be someone out there who is like so desperate to marry me. Oh and he even added - if I fail to find anyone, he'd marry me. Okay, I don't know if I'm suppose to shrug or just smile at this thought. Damn.

3) Grace's source of encouragement was the best. Cracks me up each time I think about it. When I told her about it, she went : ''It's okay. Methodist (her sister's college) has this really rich Indian boy, he drives Mercedes (the new series). I'll ask my sister to help you out.'' I couldn't help but to laugh. Why is it that she thinks I want a rich guy? LOL. Anyhow, I do deserve a rich boyf. After all the amount of cash I spent on my previous ones, I need an ultra rich boyf to like sum up everything. LMAO. No, I don't need a rich boyf. Rich boys are just mean. And demanding. And controlling and stuff. I think? Teehee :D I want a financially stable boyf, unlike Ravie who only digged me for my cash. Haix. Not forgetting Sherraashe, who never did call me. His reason would be : Credit low. Hello wtf rich boy, YOU'RE RICH?!?! I even remember topping up for him once larh. And I was on the phone with Ravie for like hours until my phone bill was MYR 1k. No one even bothered calling me, I was made to call! Grrr. Nah, not complaining. Gahhh.

4) TCL and Melissa thinks I'm already special and that I don't need anyone special by my side. Oh and we're even gonna hunt down for guys starting next week. LOL. Anyhow, I know it's gonna take me some time before I get into another r/ship. I will only be in a r/ship if he gets a new girlfriend. Until then I'm staying single. Don't ask me why, I have my reasons.

5) Thamilla started sending me loads of random quotes while we were emo-ing last night. I edited some, though : Sometimes I wish I have never met you, because then I could go to bed at night and wake up in the morning not knowing there was someone like you out there ; If you can't save the r/ship, at least save your pride ; My biggest fear is that one day we will pass each other on the streets and have artificial conversation ; Thinking of you is easy - I do it everyday. Missing you is the heartache, that never goes away.

6) Vicky's source of encouragement was kinda good. Appreciate it. LOL. He sent me a goodnight text. Then I replied saying I'm all sad and that I'm about to tear and stuff. And his reply? He replied with this really awesome motivational text. Smart eh? Hahaha. Made my day.

7) My parents are acting a lil weird now. I got like lectured yesterday. And a little today. Basically, I stopped talking about him to my parents already. And I've been like talking really really loudly to my friends about this issue when my mum is around. Therefore I think my parents know that it's over now? &&& they're not too happy about it. Grrr. I always knew mum liked him. Damn.

I'mma Bounce to the Flow, I'mma Let the Heat Blow for Sure. I'm Young, But I Got A Lot of Strength To Show.

I'm kinda like emo-ing now. My mind wanders off thinking about the past when I'm all alone. Suddenly, I feel a little neglected. I don't feel like this with company, though. Well, I guess it'll take some time. So true ; only time will tell. Anyhow, have been a vegetarian for almost 3 weeks now, I suppose. 8th of December will be the last day. On the 9th I'mma have McDonald's for lunch, I swear. Oh, and I've decided to start eating fish again. Well yeah. I did quit eating fish for like 3 months? Only cos I remember him telling me that he dislikes eating fish. So yeah. I decided to stop taking in fish, for him. Not that he's aware of this, though. So yeah. And I accidentally munched on a bar of chocs. Too bad no one's here to ward me off my bad habits. But I am exercising well enough. Time for some reward, maybe? Plus, at a time like this, I could really use some chocs. It does somewhat helps me de-stress.

Alright then. It's 10 p.m.. I'm off to bed. From now on, I guess I'm pretty much gonna be going up to bed early, just like before. No more late phone calls till the sun comes up, nor are there any more long chats and webcam sessions over MSN until the break of dawn. Everything is back to normal, I suppose. And I guess we'll just have to wait and see on what happens next. I wonder when it'll be the time.

Oh, and thanks everyone for taking the trouble to help me like download the instrumental version of Hero that I've been craving for, whilst my Limewire died on me. I won't be needing it anymore, simply because I ain't gonna complete the video. I guess I kept all of you in the dark. I was planning on making a video for him, with pictures of myself and him (which I ripped off his Facebook), with Hero as the background melody or something. And why Hero? That's his favourite song.

can we just be friends till its really the time fr this

I think I just got dumped or something. Okay, maybe not. Cos all the while it was an open r/ship, after all. And okay, I admit it, I don't quite know what it means. I just nod to every single thing that he says, mind you. What in the world does an open r/ship mean? Grrr. So anyways, I did tear a little. Wasn't that bad, because I already did expect this to happen. My instincts are one of the greatest things ever. I swear. They are always right. And my instincts weren't wrong this time. So yeah. Don't feel sorry for me, please. It hurts even more that way. But I do accept condolences whilst I bury myself in self-pity. I'm currently going around telling my friends and cousins (who actually know about my personal life) about what just happened. I think I'm feeling better already? I hope. And to top it all off, I now have a tough job on cleaning my blog. Cleaning, as in, gonna like remove everything related about all this and stuff. I think almost all my previous posts are about him? LOL. So yeah. Time gonna be well spent cleaning my blog. Including my side bars. Goshhh. Oh and plus, I left my blog URL for my teachers to read too. Oops. Better delete everything off, before anything unwanted happens. Anyhow, I thought I'd say this : I always thought I was a nice person. What did I do to deserve this? Karma is really being unfair. AND SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY TYPO ERRORS, COS I'M NOT RE-READING WHAT I TYPED. I DON'T WANNA TEAR ANYMO.

Oh, and you-know-who-you-are, if you're reading this ; please don't feel bad or anything. This is my only ranting ground. Please do bear with me. I ain't doing all these to insult you or whatsoever.

imissyousodamnfcukingmuch.

Why are there no more ILYs at the end of our conversation? Why is there no more manja sessions between us? Why do you sound like you're pissed off wimme? Why do I feel insecure? Why were you rude to me last morning? Why are there no more texts from you? Why are there no more random phone calls from you? Why do I always think about you? Why do I wonder if you ever think about me too? Why do I wonder if you still love me the same? GAHHHHH I MISSSSS YOU :( :( :( :( :(

youwerekindarudetome, but, iknowitwasstillsomewhatmyfault. waiting for the 8th of dec, hoping you'd talk to me right after our chemistry paper ends.

I just recovered a little from my fever and haven't got the appetite to eat anything lately. My mind's been really blank and I've been feeling really exhausted these days. I can even fall asleep at 9 pm when my usual sleeping time is like after midnight. So much for being an insomniac. I've also been trying to do as much things as I can find to get my head off some things. So far, I haven't actually found anything productive to be done. Except maybe just logging into FaceBook, reading a few pages of MLIAs, looking for more cupcake recipes, cleaning my room, and of course, mugging for Biology. Oh, and I've been staring at the walls - busy daydreaming way too much. Urgh. I feel so numb already. I don't geddit. Why am I feeling so emotional these days?

♥

For all the times I felt cheated, I compained. You know how I love to complain for all the wrongs I repeated. Though I was to be blamed, I still cursed the rain. I'm sorry. You're the cutest, and the most decent looking guy I've ever met and only to my eyes. And your eyes ; they're one thing that never fails make my heart skip a beat and take my breath away. I miss you. I miss you so much, and I want you to know that every day I'll be thinking of you, eventhough you're so far away. A huddle is a hug and a cuddle. I wanna huddle you.

Prince Charming, ILY,

I wanna be your little princess :D

LOL so childish

I Did Not Get Chosen for the First Batch for National Service!

Okay, like OMG. Additional Mathematics is finally over! I repeat, it's over. Initially, I planned to like not sit for the paper. Even my parents agreed to it. My friends were no match to the reasons that I opposed. So yeah. I was all set to like not sit for it, until someone came up, wanting me to like actually go for it. So yeah. I guess only that someone can make me do things, huh? Grrr. Anyhow, I screwed up my paper big time. As usual. Nothing new here. I'm just hoping I'd pass. A fcuking E is good enough. Seriously. &&& major news : We're like not allowed to like leave our exam hall until the fcuking given time ends. Cos some bitches from school decided to climb those fcuking fences behind school and cabut during exam. So yeah. WTF bitches, I'm so glad your kain koyak. Super no thanks to you, I can't leave the examination hall, and had to wait for like one fcuking hour with ntg to do today. Damn I wish I was there to see your kain koyak, cos I would have most probably died laughing. BOO YOU!

Ahhhhhhh. Only 3 more papers to go. Hardcore papers. Biology, Physics, and Chemistry. And after that is party time!!!! LOL. Anyways, the picture above was like taken by Ah Kaw, using his cellphone, minutes before my EST exam like last Friday. The second half of my paper, that is. Damnnn I am like one trained camwhore. LOL. So yeah. Back to today's topic. Paper 1 ended at 10 a.m.. So Mages, Rubby, and Sukanya tagged along wimme home. I was like online once I was home. Super despo to find out about my NS batch thing. In the end I had to like text 'em cos I couldn't load their webpage. Grrr. Oh &&& I was like talking to one of Videsh's friend (some Chinese boy, whom I do not know) on MSN, and the first thing he said to me? ''You're pretty''. DAMNNN HE MADE MY DAY!!!! (: Had lunch after that and all and headed back at like 1 plus to school. Kalai and Shalini stayed in school :/ Ohhhh &&& we had like a major cookie marathon in my room. MUAHAHAHA. I brought in like 3 boxes of cookies, and a whole box of chocholates. Chocs from Belgium. AHHHHHHHHH HEAVEN! (((((((((: Everything was gone in like less than an hour? HAHAHA. Oh and btw, I only took like one bite of the effing chocolate okay! Haihhh.

Oh, I totally forgot to mention this. Mum actually like lemme drive home from school yesterday, after my first AM paper ended. Drove only up to 80 and mum was already screaming at me. Watch the video ; you can hear my mum (she's speaking in Tamil here) constantly repeating the word ''brake''. She's actually asking me to like step onto the brake, cos I'm like going way too fast and stuff. ISHHHHH!!!!! So not fast okay mummy! Rawrrr. Oh and Mages (or was it Rubby?) recorded this. WTF I swear I didn't know. LOL. I drove everyone home safely larh okay. Everyone survived. So yeah. Conclusion : I can drive, you muthafcuker. MUAHAHAHAHA. &&& I have an effing license ; which means I don't have to like run when I see a traffic cop pull over or sth :D :D :D :D :D

My life is currently complicated. You'd need an hour to hear the saga.

And so it was the big day today. The day we all have been waiting for. Okay, maybe not everyone. Ahhh whatever. SPM. Goodness. The thought of it just freaks me out. First day today. Everything went well, I must say. Cikgu Firdaus was right outside, greeting me as I made my way into school with mummy. Felt good after looking at Firdaus' face. He never fails to put a smile on my face. Like never. I'll blog about him someday. Oh, and in school, they had some morning tea for the parents and stuff. I wasn't feeling very good this morning, btw. Not gonna tell you why. Boo! I like keeping some things to myself these days. So yeah. Don't bother asking. However, on the other dial, someone actually made my day today. Some kid (my junior) and a bunch of her friends like totally came up to me wishing me luck for SPM and stuff. No, that's not the point. The thing here is, these bunch of girls have hated me like since ... ermmm since forever! Eversince I stepped into this school, that is. So yeah. It made my day when they came up to me. It felt good. It totally made up for like after what happened to me that very morning at home before I left for school. I am like so glad I have awesome friends to turn to whenever I'm feeling down or whatsoever. They're so awesome. They're just majorly awesome. I mean, how can they actually stand me and all my nonsensical crap? Damnnn. In a way I feel extremely sorry for them. But then again, I am extremely grateful that I have them in my life. I know they are gonna be one of the constants in my life. For sure. They're just so good to me. C'mon, tell me, how many people do you know that actually would listen to you ranting about your crush-cum-boyf early in the morning like minutes before you're gonna sit for a major examination? MY FRIENDS. THEY'LL DO IT. THEY DID IT. Now, tell me, do they rock or whattt? Oh, and did I mention that they can like pamper me way better than my ex-boyfriends? ♥♥♥♥♥ Heh. Fcuk 'em boys. Oh, and yeah, I love being pampered. Like major love! ''A girl like her would have most probably be taken by some awesome guy, yes?'' >>> Made my day, again. I totally heard some stranger saying / more like asking this to like his friend. It was about me, I'm so sure it was me. AWWWWWWWW MUCH? (: Oh, anyways, I'm suppose to blog about my exam today. ***** Bahasa Melayu Paper 1 and 2 and History Paper 1. I screwed up all three papers big time. History was the worse. I swear I tikam-ed almost everything. For BM Paper 1 - Section A : My essay was only 240 words long. The limit is 250. So, I'm kinda okay with it. Section B : It should be 350 words and above. I only got 616 words. Totally unsatisfied! I could have gone to 700+. I don't know why I just couldn't write any longer. GRRR. Oh, and I only wrote like 7 peribahasa(s) in the essay. Fcuk. Like so not enough cann? HAIXXX. And Paper 2 was so yucky, I nearly vomited blood. The rumusan, literature, novel, tatabahasa, and everything - was haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard. DIE PREETIBAH DIE. History Paper 2 tomorrow = wish me luck. Major luck needed.*****

I officially graduated from high school today. School was so much fun. We even danced! LOL. So yeah anw SPM's tomorrow. Wish me luckkk! :D I'll edit this after SPM, I promise. And all the other drafts and posts, as well. Ahhhhhhh 8th Dec. Can't effing wait. But then again, I don't wanna be forgotten after SPM :/

Studying is Student and Dying Put Together :P

I'm confused. No sense of directions on where to go or what to do right now. I just wanna keep on talking and talking and talking. Writing doesn't make any sense anymore, because nobody gets exactly what I mean. I am definitely not ready for any of my papers this Wednesday. I think I'm screwed. Freak show. I ain't regretting anything, though. I have been mugging real hard for the past few days. Let's just hope it all pays off. I am only praying for the best. Not hoping for straight As ; only good grades that can actually qualify myself to be enrolled into a good private college or something. Right. Well planned, isn't it? Okay, maybe not. Nevermind that. Anyways, I'm going vegetarian for a whole month. Diet. A whole month. I keep telling myself that I can go through this, and I will! And no chocolates too. Oh, and no carbonated drinks. Trust me, you'll see a better version of myself in the next 2 years. Gee, I'm all hyped up already!

You believe in astrology? I used to like believe in it big time. But not anymore. Even my superstitious mum said it doesn't always happen. It'll happen, only if you make it happen. It's like, you have an option to choose from. It's all in your hands, anyways. So yeah. For now, I'm just praying for all the negativity to be untrue. I'm praying each and every day, seeking forgiveness to God and thanking him for every little thing that I own right now. On the other dial, I am already looking forward to the next 10 years. Trust me, everything will go on as planned. I shall make it happen!

Okay, now, you believe in lucky charms? I know a bunch of my friends who do. And I think I'm slowly becoming one of them. Influenced big time! Those pictures above - they're my lucky charms. Okay, I wouldn't exactly consider 'em my lucky charms or anything just yet, but they sure make me smile each time I look at them. A new source of strength for the time being, maybe?

Lucky Charm #1 : It's a Mickey Mouse keychain (two different ones - got 'em both from Hong Kong) hung onto the zip of my school bag, which I'll be carrying it to school during SPM. Lucky Charm #2 : A little piece of doodling that cracks me up each time I look at it. I placed it in my file, because I usually carry my file all around school. Lucky Charm #3 : I don't really have a picture of it, but lemme still tell you. I have a pair of chopsticks with me in my bag. Placed it in there cos I can't exactly carry it around, you see. So yeah. Go on, call me weird or whatsoever. Urgh. I have my reasons to justify myself well.

Don't Ever Leave Me.

I feel like you're going away from me. Each day and everyday, the distance between us increases. Less than a month to go, where I'll officially drop by to meet you. I wonder if you'll still be mine till then. I can't bear not being able to text you or call you. IMs aren't gonna be possible whilst the exams are on. So yeah. I'll just go on with the flow for now ; complete my exams, polish my driving, and rush right over to see you. I just want you to know that you are the most amazing person that I know. Right now, all I wanna do is keep getting better and better in everything that I do and be the best only for you. And that's because you deserve it. I'm not good with words, nor am I good in pampering you. Gimme some time and I'm sure I'll be able to work my way there.

-------

Teacher asked me this during English : ''Describe one place which you find safe.'' I answered, ''Right in his arms. I bet they're all warm and cosy.''

I love you ♥

Of Dreams and Promises.

Nothing interesting happened lately. Hence, nothing much to blog about. School has been such a bore. As the days go by, less people are turning up for classes. So yeah. Nonetheless, class is still noisy. No doubt. Only less than a month to go until my dramatic survival of SPM. Can't wait. I'm already hyped up. Most of us are already planning about our post SPM activities. It's gonna be like a non-stop movie marathon, and shopping spree! So yeah. But then again, I'm feeling a little fcuked up that SPM is only a week away. And that means, no more staying up, no more hanging on the phone till the break of dawn, no more texts, no more IMs, no more nothing. Everything will continue - only after SPM. I hope things'll remain the same, though. Have been praying hard enough. Sigh. Anyways, I have been mugging real hard for the exams. Screw the government big time. Urgh. Didn't stay up last night, though. My left eye was twitching uncontrollably. Grrr. Staying up tonight! Gonna mug for History. Damnation. On the other dial, Rubby actually managed to like fix the camera shutter button on my cellphone. And yeah, I'm actually bringing my cell to school. Gasp, if you may. See? I ain't that innocent after all. I do break the school rules, big time. Oh, and I just realised that I'm not the only one who brings cellphone to school. So yeah. I don't quite feel the guilty pang within me anymore.

Rubby! I love how she pampers me in school. She was the first to start calling me baby from class. I just love lying right onto her shoulder while she strokes my head to sleep. Check out my manja-fied face. Okay, maybe not so manja-fied. LOL. So yeah. Anyways, I'm so gonna miss all of that after SPM. Grrr. Suddenly, I don't wanna graduate from high school. I think it's a little too early for me. I think I'm still way too young. No. Wait. I'm just not ready for this. Sigh.Oh My God. You wouldn't believe what Sukanya told me this morning. She was like telling us all about her dream last night and stuff. And fcuk it. Fcuk I want it to happen. Fcuk I'm desperate. Fcuk I'm looking forward to the next 4 years. I'm as hyped up as she is right now. Oh, and fcuk I'm not telling you what the dream is about! But damn, I sure want it to happen. Fcuk. Grrr. Oh, and FYI, I think I just found my new favourite word : fcuk.

Time For War.

One day of me being absent in school results in tons of mishaps.

--------------------

Please, call me the peacemaker. I deserve that title.

Because I love you. I always have, and always will.

GLASS TEMPLE!!!

The prettiest temple I've ever been to. I swear.

Will blog about it some other time, though. Stay tuned! (:

Is it just me, or is it like the love season or something? Why in the world is everybody in love - all of a sudden. Maybe everyone just got hit by the cupid? Way to go, cupid. Grrr. I'm not being a sadist here or anything. I just feel a tad bit weird. My friends being in a relationship ; it's turning my life good and miserable at the same time. Don't ask me how, I can't figure it out myself either. On the other dial, there are a few bunch of people who happen to GMH. Daddy who's willing to get up early on a lazy Sunday morning to surprise mum with some homemade breakfast while she was away for yoga lessons - Hareen's profile on FaceBook and MSN being all about Suba - Sukanya getting the mushiest text messages from her soon-to-be-boyfriend (not gonna mention his name here) - My neighbour buying his extremely short wife a brand new Mitsubishi Grandis (where she uses a pillow to sit onto while driving). Guys like this make me jealous. I don't think jealousy is the right word, though. I just feel a little less pampered? Rawr. Damnnn I'm one spoilt brat. Wait, I don't know how that fits in. But, oh well.

I love how we can just talk everything out ; from the places we want to go to, the things we wanna do, the dreams we have and wanna achieve, the kind of life we want together, and just what's to come in the near future.

I believe that this moment is going to last forever. I know I'm not a little kid anymore ; I can't just close my eyes, hoping time would stop or something. I'm growing up. We are both growing up. I know things might and will change, and we're going to have more laughs and cries but I don't care, because the only thing that gets me through almost everything everyday is you being my best friend .You're special to me and I believe we could be so much more than this. I wonder if you feel the same. And that's what kills me and you don't even know it. I just want to know if we'd ever be amount to anything so I know that I'm not sacrificing everything just for nothing. Right now, all I know is that I love you with all my heart.

Sunkissed

All these happened on a Friday - It's Saturday, as I'm typing this on a Thursday's draft. Great. Urgh. Went to school feeling groggy and wet. The weather that morning totally reflected my mood. Gloomy. Did not sleep well the night before. Panic attacks of mine leads to fever. Just a minute fever, though. I hate fever. Fever causes my fingers (more like my hands) to tremble like fcuk. And that means I cannot grab hold onto anything without putting in like tons of effort. Imagine how long it took me to like text some caffeine-related info at 6 in the morning - I nearly died. On the other dial, school was absofcukinglutely good. Someone was absent. And her absence is the presence of the constant laughter of mine in school. Damnnn. I felt so good right then. I was all hyped up. Anyhow, nearly half the class was like absent. Study leave? No way. I bet a handful of them were probably online. Or fast asleep. Trust me, I know my classmates. Vicky, on the other hand, probably watched too much football. And he couldn't get up the next morning? Oh, well. I don't miss you, Vicky. Not anymore, though. Muahahax.

Yes, I don't like combing my hair. And I don't really bother about my hair in school. There isn't exactly really anyone for me to woo, so yeah. Why bother? Oh, and I don't button like the second button on my blouse, as well. I'm just so used to it. So yeah. You got a problem with that? Rawr.

Camwhored during recess. With my cellphone. I forgot to like bring my camera to school. Wait, I don't really know where in the world I left my camera. Oh, it's probably under my bed - with all the dust bunnies. Grrr. The button (to like snap pictures) on my cellphone isn't functioning, so it's like I gotta turn on the 2 sec self-timer for every single shot. Haihhh. Never am I bringing my phone into the shower with me again. Okay, scratch that. I only hope. No promises on this one. Oh, and I ain't glowing. I sit next to a window ; where the sun shines directly onto my flawless face. Not.

And that's how much I look like when I wake up. I don't like my morning face. I have never liked my morning face. Oh, and I never will. Grrr. I look more like crap with tiny eyes. Oh, well. Picture was taken in Hong Kong. Random much? I suddenly have this extreme urge to like fly away to Hong Kong - never to return. Oh, and anyways, mum thinks I'm majorly stressed out or something. She brought me to the clinic and even got me medicine from the pharmacy nearby. People, Preetibah never gets stressed out for exams. Seriously. Maybe a little? LOL. Anyhow, my body temperature isn't exactly back to normal yet, but it did improve. Doc said my internal body temp is a little higher, and so is my blood pressure. He can't exactly figure out what I'm suffering from either. Probably bipolar disorder? Or acute psychosis? Rawr. How do I like tell 'em that panic attack is the main reason, nothing else! Ishhh. Oh, and I think I wanna be a doctor. What do you think? :D

Diwali Night in Kuala Lumpur

Just got tagged on FaceBook. Thanks cousin for uploading unglam pictures of me. You the best. Grrr. Thamilla only tagged five pictures of it. I wonder where the other 9858760246 pictures went. Oh, well. This shall do wonders for now. Oh, and by the way, I'm not that fat. My outfit was a major flop. Should have worn that dress I brought along. Sigh.

Thamilla calls this mafia. I call this fugly.

Easter bunny much? I swear they made me do this! The bunny hands, the teeth, the braces, the eyes, and the nose! Everything! Rawr. Oh, and check out those fingers at the side of my head ; middle fingers finally put to good use. 

Thamilla calls this egyptians. I call this samurai shit. Check out my super straight hands. Thank you yoga, you are finally creating wonders in my life :D

The most painful shot ever. I had to like bend my knees for this. They wanted to create a staircase (?) effect. So yeah.

I am the shortest. I have a 16-year old cousin who is taller than me. FML.

I look like one of those people getting their photo taken for like a marriage photoshoot. Super formal shot of me ; no? Told ya I had no mood to pose and stuff. Trust me, that smile was fake. Urgh.

I Wanna Know Things I'm Not Suppose To Know - But It Somewhat Scares The Jack Shit Outta Me

I will think of what I want for the future and not moan on what I've not been getting all this while. I will make things happen. I shall achieve what I believe in. Anyways, I think the best thing for me to do right now, is to stay quiet about my plans for the future and allow the others to dominate the conversation. There's nothing in this world that's gonna ruin my future. My well-planned future. And there's nothing in this world that could possibly separate me and him.

School - The Scariest Place I've Been To. You?

Too bad we don't really celebrate Halloween here in Malaysia. I would really love to dress up and go around knocking on doors for candies! Rawr. Anyways, I'm dead beat right now. Open house over at Suba's place. Just ended. Ended with a dance. Camwhored like fcuk. Pictures will be on Facebook soon. Rawr. I hate how unglamorous pictures of me make their way to Facebook before all else. Anyhow, I'm feeling much better now. Dancing really helps me keep my mind off some stuff. Should dance more often. Right. Nevermind. Oh and of course, I probably couldn't have survived without baby. Constant texts and phone calls did the trick. Thanks baby. I owe you tons ♥

I Have My Heart Wrapped All Around You

Going up to KL in a while. Not exactly hyped up or whatsoever. And no, I'm not PMSing. I've got my reasons alright. Right now, all I can do is hope for the best. I seriously hope nothing goes wrong while I'm away. Haixxx. Oh and by the way, I hate it when panic attack strikes. It just hurts. So much :/

I've got a huge communication trouble that can spoil everything. Seriously.

Baby's just so nice and like super patient with me. Oh Lord. Baby, you the best. If you're like reading this, I want you to know that : Baby, I love you.

Benefit's Pink Lip Gloss ; MYR 75

I need sponsors. Gahhh :/

I failed my driving test like for the second time today. Failing my driving test is just unbearable already. So much for being confident. So much for driving over to Jusco this weekend. So much for driving up to school every morning. Sigh. Called up baby the moment I failed. Was supposed to meet up with baby this weekend. And it ain't gonna happen no more. At least not until SPM's over. Sobs. I feel so sorry for myself. I broke down. Totally collapsed onto the floor in my room. Mum had to like drag me to bed and like wake me up and stuff. Mum was a little disapppointed in me. An so was daddy. Plus, money doesn't grow on trees, y'know. Haihhh. Slept off the whole day. Didn't wanna stay up and stuff. I just had to like distract myself away from reality. So yeah. I was basically emo-ing. Gosh. Baby is just so awesome. Baby made me feel so good just after one phone call. I love how he makes me feel special. He's my source of strength. Really. I'mma make sure I pass my driving test on the 9th. 9th of November ; I am looking forward to it already. I'mma pass, and make baby proud. Then I'mma drive him around and stuff :D

Diwali Party ; More pictures on FaceBook

Hello! Gonna make this one quick update before I go on a major hiatus or something. Diwali party was a blast. Turned out awesome. It was a little barbeque party. So yeah. Thanks everyone! I mean, to those who turned up and all. And to those who didn't, I am so smad (sad and mad) at you. Rawr. I joke I joke. We'll go out some other time, alright? Loves ♥ Buddy! And her little sister, Jia Yi. Trust me, she's like one of the coolest 8 year-olds that I've ever came across with. Major loves. Just look at her. Cute, isn't she? Cai Ling can't be spared either. With a face like that, Tyra ought to be ashamed. They managed to crash into my room while I was busy downstairs. Way to go, everyone! Including the boys. Thank God no one got an eyesore leaving my room. Phew! See this, baby? No one got an eyesore! LOL. Anyways, camwhore session in my room. Tons of pictures. It'll be painful to upload all of 'em all here. Anyhow, here's like a part of my crowd that turned up. Ahmad Izzuddin Shah (my jogging partner!), Andrew Ho, Kenneth (Andrew's little brother), Kalai Arasi, Sukanya, Shalini, Rabeeka, Cai Ling, and Adeline dearest (: Not in the picture : Magesini, Ainaa, Aisah, Jason Loo, Shafiq, Mustaqim, Andrew's little sister, Jia Yi, Grace Tee, Shafiah, Shahira, Rihanna, Surain and Dhiviyan. Can't think of anyone else already. Sorry if I left out your name, alright? Preetibah still loves you. I wish I took more pictures of the party. My battery just had to die on me. Urgh. Anyways, credits to Adeline for all the pictures! And thank you Andrew for being the paparazzi of the day. There are like tons of ss-looking pictures of me in my camera. When did you even manage to snap? Rawr! Oh, and more pictures!

This one was taken while I was on on like on the computer. Pit-stopped by the computer to like check on FaceBook and stuff, but I somewhat got carried away. Was chatting with baby and webcamming with Suba when Adeline came over and took this shot. Cai Ling's favourite shot, btw.

Was like on the phone yaw. Oh and that's Adeline's China, btw. I own a China too! Major loves yaw.

Oh, and I think this is like my first ever photo with Izzuddin. Goodness. He's one shy ass. LOL. Oh, and I never knew he was like one head taller than me. Rawr!

One last shot together before they left. Sobs.

Cai Ling looks as though she's red-headed here. Pretty! (:

Kelly Clarkson's brand new single : Already Gone ; scares the hell outta me. I hate the lyrics. Fcuking scary. I don't like. I turn off my radio each time the song is like played. Goodness. Somebody help me! :S

Current mood : Normal. Got up like around 9 (?) this morning. Mum bawled at me to get outta bed. Got ready in like around 2 hours, and left for my uncle's place. In Seri Alam. Far, yes, I know. Ta-dah ; outfit of the day. I'm into dresses now. See? I am girlish, okay? Except, I haven't actually mastered the art of a lady-like posture. For example, when I sit down or something. Rawr. Convent girls, I know I know. We will never learn :D Oh, and check out my huge ass eyes. C'mon, how can someone not love eyeliners. Like seriously! They're like the best invention. Ever. Okay, wait. I don't wear make-up often. Who am I to judge, again? :/ Hello, cousin. I think you're annoying. I'm so locking my room door for good when I leave for college next year. This way, you can never again dig & rummage & mess up my closet and try on my brand new clothes without seeking my permission / jump on my queen-size bed / try on my fake diamond-studded earrings / my inexpensive shades. Like never again. I repeat, NEVER AGAIN. Right, sorry. Anyways, moving on. From Seri Alam, I left to Selesa Jaya (?) to meet up with some other relatives (: Goodness. More relatives, more food. Damnation. After all the food and stuff, I nearly zonked off on the sofa. I was effing bored, and I finally came up with something productive to do. There! Doing what I do best! Camwhore! There's like tons of ss-looking pictures of me all over my cellphone. It'll take me ages to upload 'em. Hence, only one for now. My current favourite picture. And yeah, thanks, I know I have goddamn huge eyes. I wish I had smaller eyes, though. Whatever the hell happened to the Chinese gene within me? Haix. Major haix. Some condominium. I forgot what it's called. The view of the sky from the 3rd floor balcony. Those little dots on the picture above aren't dust specks. They're actually birds. Like flying all around. I think I found a new hobby : bird-watching. Okay, que to say : Preetibah, you're so weird.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI (:

No open house this year. Sobs. Major sobs. I miss my cousins. Grrr. Anyways, I feel pretty much the same. It feels just like any other old day. Going out at night later. Heading to Kalai's for dinner, and then I'm probably gonna pit-stop at Izzuddin's place or something. Raya Open House on Deepavali. Righttt. I'm so bored, I'm going around YouTube with nothing productive in mind. Damn. No one's online either. Busy partying, maybe? Rawr! I'm currently on Facebook. Yeah, Restaurant City-ing. My restaurant looks great. Pink tiles with matching pink wallpaper! Much loves! ♥♥♥

This is me. I have pretty pink eyes. I like. Anyways, I think contact lenses are a little too over-rated. Oh yeah, pink is such a natural eye colour. Pfft. Fcuk it people.

MY SUPER AWESOME PINK WALLPAPER! Thanks love! (:

Okay, and speaking of Facebook, my only source of entertainment, that is. Here's a little something.

Click to enlarge

I got a message from this someone. Klidasan Nyteran? Not in my friends' list yaw. Anw, yeah, that's like the convo between us. In case you're wondering why I even bothered replying ; here, lemme tell you. I suffer from major STML. Hence, I thought I might have known her from somewhere or something. So yeah. I know. FML to the core. Oh &&& check out the last message he sent. Grrr. And all these while I thought I've been talking to a girl! Now check out his profile picture. I mean, yeah, the display picture shows a girl, righttt? So yeah. I was like WTF.

And this is what I replied like moments ago.

Check out his grammar. I nearly died reading his message. I mean, nevermind. I'm trying my very best to not be like sarcastic anymore. I used to be like the queen of sarcasm? So yeah. Time to change, maybe? I'm finally learning to be nice. And much more patient. And kind. And loving. And everything positive you can think of. You get the drill, right? :D

http://www.givesmehope.com/

I think I'm gonna go emo. Well, maybe not. Deepavali's tomorrow. I feel pretty much normal. Not exactly hyped up or anything. No open house this year. Sorry ya'll. Maybe next week or something? I'll let ya'll know, okay? And Cai Ling, you so gotta let your little sister tag along, alright? :D

I don't know what is up with me right now. I'm having mixed emotions. RAWR. I really really hope mummy lets me out next Tuesday. HAIX. Anw currently tuning to Down by Jay Sean. Fcuking addictive. Baby don't worry, you are my only :DDD

Cupid, you finally got the right one :D I feel so blessed having you in my life. Thanks yaw (:

Super LOLs :D

I WANNA GROW OLD WITH YOU

♥

I LOVE YOU

I'm like in the midst of playing Restaurant City on Facebook =.='' There. My restaurant. I named it : The Kitchen =.='' I know I know. Like WTH much. You should see what Sadhish named his restaurant. Right Sadhish? LMAO. Oh, anw I forgot to mention something. I skipped school today yaw :D

I'M CURRENTLY ON PARACETAMOL :(

I'm already starting to feel kinda okay. Texts and tons of phone calls and IMs from friends make me feel good :D Thanks everyone! And yeah, I miss ya'll too. Oh, and thanks for the good news, Mages : Hari Terbuka on the 23rd. GRRR.

Miami Heels from Zara : RM 429

Vincci's for RM 159

SPONSORS, ANYONE?

I FAILED MY DRIVING TEST. HATERS, you may now rejoice. PFFT. FCUK YOU. Anw, on the other dial, I'm so re-sitting for it, in like fcuking 2 weeks. IDC. I'm so fcuking getting my license before I leave for NS. HAIX. Anw, I was like shit nervous this morning. Tummy ache, tummy cramp, butt cramp, migraine, nausea, and all sorts of crap you can think of larh. You name it, I felt it =.='' My hands were literally shaking mann. Like super WADAPAK cann. I was so fcuking scared that I'd screw up my on-the-road test. But guess what? I EFFING PASSED. Like 17/20. PHEW. And I failed my bukit test instead. The fcuking slope. GRRR. I so know it wasn't my fault. The gear thingy was like effing stuck okay! HAIX WHATEVER LARH. I don't even wanna bother justifying myself or whatsoever :/ I JUST NEED MY FCUKING LICENSE. *cries super loudly*

Super sad larh okay. HAIX HAIX HAIX. Anw the JPJ officers were shit nice to me. TO ME. Try asking the other guys / girls who were there. They hate 'em JPJ officers. HAHAHA :D Too bad I didn't bribe larh. Should have effing bribed them :P Wouldn't have been so hard for me to do so. *wink wink*

Oh, and I sorta befriended this guy (Alvin) in the driving school just now. Well, yeah. There was like only the four of us left, hence, we talked? Haha. He's a super nice guy and stuff larh. Pretty much normal, actually. So, yeah. Then while we were like waiting for our transport to fetch us home and stuff (which arrived after nearly 2 hours =.=''), we went for a drink ; in this restaurant nearby. And then somewhere in between, Alvin started to smoke. I was like okayyyy wtf wtf wtf. And then yeah, I stayed there the whole entire time, watching him as he was smoking (he was sitting right opposite me, btw), &&& inhaling all the second-hand smoke. FCUK HAIX HAIX HAIX FCUK. Anw, the thing is : I DON'T THINK I'M ALLERGIC TO CIGARETTE SMOKE ANYMO. So yeah :/ okay nvm whatever.

Oh, and I finally know how to light up a cigarette. Haha thanks SJ and Alvin :D Like, my first time testing the lighter out. HOW AWESOME kann? HAHA. Was shit scared I might burn my fingers or anything. But it was all good (: I STILL HATE SMOKERS, THOUGH. Anyhoo, I've always wanted to, you know, try to puff like once =.='' HEHE I'm kinda like super scared. So nvm. Pfft.