Come At Me

I'm dead beat at the moment. I am no longer a fan of Inderalaya anymore. Each and every trip to Layo just drains the fuck outta  me. I suppose everyone else is tired as well, so I'm just gonna refrain myself from making up further excuses for myself.

Fake it until you make it - Almost everyone here dances to the tune of hypocrisy. I've learnt that being genuine isn't exactly the most efficient solution. It often triggers me, what exactly am I doing here?

I don't know why I'm always here blogging outta interest, and spill almost all my emotion in a single post. That is definitely something I wouldn't exactly want the others here to know. Blogging doesn't quite solve the problem, neither does it make me feel any better. I don’t expect comments or any sort of consoles, but I do expect all that hurt to be read and understood by anyone who’s reading this.

I’ve chose to type it all out, because I’m not too sure on how to explain how sad or mentally and physically tired I am at the moment - without having to reveal why, what, when and how. My emotions are not merely blog material, neither are they merely words. Oh well, most of which I myself am not very sure of in the first place.

I just wanna say that I’ve had enough of certain things.

Look how I was back then, and look at me now. This is why I didn’t give up. I want to articulate my confusion properly, because I don’t want to sound like just another regular person having a bad day. Or like some ungrateful brat who isn’t aware of the worse things that are happening around the world. Quote earthquake and tsunami.

Some people will probably see all this as the emo, anti-social kid act and figure that I’ll get over the phase soon enough. In fact, maybe I will. It’s easy to get lost and wallow in self-pity without doing anything about it, until you get bored and everyone else gets sick of trying to help you without much success.

Anyhow, I’m not exactly sure what the point of this post is. It’s just another physical manifestation of whatever’s playing out in my head at the moment. I wanted to say what I mean, but instead I just went around in circles and am now back at where I started.

I clearly don't know.

All the confusion, doubt, pain and frustration - I want to pull them all out. Oh well. Just ignore me. I'm sad, and I will make you sad. 

Just give me happiness - pure and simple, the determination to understand, wisdom to do the right thing, courage to speak my mind, true friendships that will last, and the complete opposite of whatever I feel when I get up every morning. I don't wanna be the one anymore. I don’t know. This is my stress-relief idea. I’d like a break from being myself for a week or so.

Dear haters, I think it’s time you get your shit together. And yes, the crudeness was intentional.

Cheers.