Serious & Mysterious

As you can probably already tell, I have been clearly neglecting my blog way too much. I suppose I've been caught up with life. Or been too busy tryna catch up with life. Either way, I've had about a thousand of ideas on what to write about earlier - except, there is a saying ; too much of anything will make you sick. Or whatever it is along those lines.

I've been staying up all night staring into space considering all the possible negative consequences of myself getting a boyfriend before I actually zonked off. I swear I would have probably twisted and turned in bed, not knowing what to do. & of course, struggling very hard to come to terms with the complete helplessness thought of my current situation.

Year 2 and I'm back to where I don't belong - with a heavier heart this time. I'll be honest with you, my head is just filled with futile thoughts, and I am now starting to feel emotionally ill. Ugh! I just hope it gets better as it goes. For the love of God and for the sake of my education, I'll get through this.

I remember how my first year (last year) turned out a tad bit of a disaster. I came all the way from Malaysia ; excited about all the angles and prospects of myself actually taking one step forward to making my dream come true - minus the idea of how medical academics in general sends 'em chills down my spine and how I still shudder at the thought of it.

I remember having the worst mix of emotions before I left. I remember when the first term began, I was a pretty good student ; tryna bond with the seniors, asking loads of associated questions, and definitely not sleeping during lectures. Also, I remember having an immensely hard time asserting my identity in an entirely foreign environment, which I later learnt that I don't quite like. Nor fit in.

By the start of 2011, I was pretty sure that I wasn't sure of anything anymore. All I wanted to do was only to focus on something real here ; education. Yes, the reason I was here in the first place - to get an education.

Tutorials and cases, one after another ; just like that. I could hardly remember how the year went. & even worse, I don't know if I've put in enough effort in doing the right thing to strike the right balance. Le sigh. I mean, I am a little paranoid about my results. Hence, going by that measure ; I have to say, Year 1 has been a bit of a waste. I looked at my grades, and it was a little disappointing. 

Oh well, I know I've had an awesome year while it lasted. Or so, at least I'm trying to convince myself that I did. I was just looking through some photos I took throughout the year and thought I could have done better with my hair.

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I don't know and I'm still unsure if Year 2 is going to be on my side, because I know for a fact that I am gonna be falling into pits of misery and depression throughout the entire year. Again. However, I did promise myself that I will most certainly try my level best to be happy (and to not give up while I'm at it).

P / S : I like spending my time slacking around. Travelling around and having some good ol' English breakfast and being a lovable pest to my parents while I'm at it. I mean, my party time is usually a lunch or a dinner party with my family. & friends. I don't give a fuck about going to clubs. I want to have a really good time just talking and catching up, because I like having a really good time just talking and catching up.

& so, I did. Arcades, FTW! Cheers.